In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
