I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
