we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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