I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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