I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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