At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
