So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
