Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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