This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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