Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
