you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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