My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck me I smell like cheese
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
