She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
