11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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