If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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