Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
