it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
