the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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