dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
