Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
