And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
