You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
