You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
