I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
even my farts smell like vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
