Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
