It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
