Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He felt like a one man threesome
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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