every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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