Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
