I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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