This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You smell like stripper and shame
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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