My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
