haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
