Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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