she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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