I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
