Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
