Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just google imaged poop.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize