so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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