my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
