My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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