My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
