my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
