Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
