she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
