I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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