i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
