In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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