I love black thongs
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
