Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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